


Nowhere to Stand

by thecookiemomma



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode: s06e08 Cloak, Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-23
Updated: 2011-09-23
Packaged: 2017-10-23 23:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecookiemomma/pseuds/thecookiemomma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my missing scene for Cloak.  Tony's still pissed about being left out of the loop.  Songfic for Mumford & Sons' <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaxrANJnU2E">"Dust Bowl Dance."</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Nowhere to Stand

Set during Cloak. Lyrics from Mumford & Sons “Dust Bowl Dance”.

 

 **Well you are my accuser, now look in my face,  
Your oppression reeks of your greed and disgrace, **

 

Tony stalked out of the room. Ducky may have been satisfied with the explanation, but Tony was still pissed. Something inside him shifted, and he growled low in his throat. 

 

 **The young man stands on the edge of his porch,  
The days were short and the father was gone,  
There was no one in the town and no one in the field,  
This dusty barren land had given all it could yield. **

 

He gathered his things and began to get ready to leave. However, security started rounding up all the agents. He fumed silently, needing to step away for a few minutes. It wasn't going to happen now, but he could wish. 

 

 _He was twelve. His father had asked him to his study again. Usually, that meant one of two things. Either he was in trouble or his father wanted a 'report'. When he was in trouble, his father would bark the order like a drill sergeant. When he just wanted a report, he'd invite him to his study like a coworker. He strode into the study, fully expecting to be told to pour three fingers of scotch into a glass and report about his day. He was already mentally preparing the words. When he saw his father's face, he stopped short and tilted his head, standing straight, waiting for the shoe to fall. And fall it did. That semester, he was yanked unceremoniously from his private school and sent to Rhode Island Military Academy._

 

He opened his eyes, standing up from his seat, following the rest of his team – hell, the rest of his agency – down the stairs into the basement. They all lined up, and he held out his hands, lips still thinned in anger.

 

 **  
I've been kicked off my land at the age of sixteen,  
And I have no idea where else my heart could have been,  
I placed all my trust at the foot of this hill,  
And now I am sure my heart can never be still,  
So collect your courage and collect your horse,  
And pray you never feel this same kind of remorse.    
**

 

  
Tony had thrown his heart and soul into being a law enforcement officer. True, he'd taken a physical education major, but he'd learned so much about people just by watching them. He'd also taken a criminal justice major a couple years later, but didn't advertise that one. That's the one he continued through his cop years, getting a masters by studying at night, on stakeouts, or just any time he could. He had given everything to this role. He wasn't sure if he could do anything else. And if he left during this shitstorm, no one would take him. They'd think he'd left _because_ of it.   


 

“Goddammit.” Tony swore loudly, slapping a hand forcefully against the wall. “God-fucking-dammit!” He watched his boss communicate silently with their Director, and shook his head. 

 

 **  
Seal my heart and break my pride,  
I've nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide,  
Align my heart, my body, my mind,  
To face what I've done and do my time.    
**

 

  
There was nowhere else for him to go right now. So, he pasted on a brave face and strode out of the room, preparing to follow his boss into whatever fucked up plan he had next. He remained silent, his hands twisting in his lap as they followed her through the streets. She was so intent on getting wherever it was she was going that she didn't notice them following her through the streets. Of course, Gibbs was pretty good at what he did.    


 

 **  
There will come a time I will look in your eye,  
You will pray to the God that you always denied,  
The I'll go out back and I'll get my gun,  
I'll say, "You haven't met me, I am the only son".  
  
**

Gibbs looked askance at him a time or two, and he shrugged his shoulder, signifying that he really did not want to talk to him about it. He knew it would have to be okay eventually, but right now it wasn't. That would have to be enough for the older man. If he didn't realize the consequences of his actions, maybe he didn't know his team as well as he thought. He leaned back in the seat, pointing silently to the exit when she took it. Luckily, they were close enough that it wasn't a stretch for Gibbs to swing into the right lane and exit neatly several cars behind her.

 

They surrounded her and brought her in, and Tony was left in the bullpen, throwing out random things with his teammates. The cold fury in his gut had loosened a little, but it still roiled. However, it flared white-hot and furious when she strode lightly out of the room without any visible repercussions.

 

 _Wheels within wheels. Within more wheels._ He growled and gathered his things. He had a pretty good idea what was going on, but it still rankled. He headed home to hit the gym.

 _**  
** _ **Seal my heart and break my pride,  
I've nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide,  
Align my heart, my body, my mind,  
To face what I've done and do my time.   
  **   
After he'd worn himself completely out, he headed home, showered, and dressed in his most comfortable clean sweats. He sighed, pulling out a beer, contemplating turning his television on. However, he had a feeling he'd be getting a visitor soon.    
**  
Well yes sir, yes sir, yes it was me,  
I know what I've done, cause I know what I've seen,  
I went out back and I got my gun,  
I said, "You haven't met me, I am the only son".    
**

   
Sure as hell, about ten minutes later, there was a distinctive “Shave and a haircut two bits” knock at his door, and he stood to let his boss in. “I am still pissed at you, Boss,” Tony began, even as he headed to the fridge to get his guest a beer.   
  

“I know, Tony. I came to explain.” Tony read between the lines. Gibbs might never apologize, but his 'explanations' often served the same purpose. He handed the beer over, and plopped back down on the couch, gesturing to the chair nearby. 

 

“Go on.” Tony sprawled out, making himself comfortable. His couch was deep and soft. 

   
Gibbs explained the whole plan, and why they needed him to be kept in the dark. 

 

“Gibbs, I'm a damn good actor. You know that. I could have...” Tony started, but Gibbs cut him off.

 

“Know that, Tony. This time I needed to make sure. Didn't even give Vance all the pieces.” He snorted. “Still a couple more things yet to do. Can I count on you?”  


  
Tony was incredulous. “ _Now? Now_ you ask me if I've got your six?” He set the beer down a little hard, rattling the table. “I have had your six this whole time, Gibbs. For _years_. I'm not gonna bail now, at least not without two weeks notice.” Something in his voice must have spoken more to the older man than he meant to give away.

  


“You gonna give it?” He leaned toward Tony, his gaze boring right through him. 

 

“I was sure as hell thinking about it earlier today. This is the kind of crap I expect from my father, not my superior.” Tony groused, picking up the beer again and taking a long draught.

  
Gibbs had the good sense to look abashed. “Yeah.” It was as close as he knew the man would come to a real apology, especially when he wasn't convinced his actions were that wrong.    


 

Tony ran his hand through his hair. He sighed loudly. “I get it. I really do. I'm just pissed because I've had people pull this crap on me before. They weren't as good as you are at getting all the pieces right. And you can't even guarantee things are gonna turn out well. I get Rule 4. I get keeping the secret.” He stood up, draining the beer and tossing the bottle into the receptacle. “It just really – really fucking hurt, Gibbs.” He closed his eyes, and leaned against the wall.    


 

“Yeah.” Gibbs repeated himself, and turned his head, unable to look at his SIC. Tony knew it would have to be enough. He accepted the man's attempt at reconciliation, grabbed another beer, and let it slide. They sat together, discussing the rest of the plan, or at least as much of it as the Boss was willing to share. 

**  
Seal my heart and break my pride,  
I've nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide,  
Align my heart, my body, my mind,  
To face what I've done and do my time.    
**


End file.
